Breaking it Down: Anger.

I'm going to start a "Breaking it Down" series. Breaking down Bipolar into more manageable sections, dealing with each specific emotion, one at a time. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.(: Remember, I'm going through this too.

When you have bipolar disorder, anger is an emotion that is very easy to give in to. It tends to be the most common emotion and it’s usually what most emotions end up being displayed as. 

Anger allows you to deflect your own emotions and convey it to someone else. Let me explain. When you are angry, you take it out on someone else. It relieves your own tension and allows you to see another person as the cause of the problem rather than dealing with the real issue and your own true emotions. You “fool” yourself into believing that you don’t have a problem. You believe others really are the problem. It’s a coping mechanism.

For those of you who have friends and family who have bipolar disorder, this may help to explain angry outbursts. Just because they seem to be angry with you does not mean that they truly are. It could be something that isn’t related to you at all and yet you may feel the brunt of it simply because you are near. The person may indeed be angry but they could also be sad, hurt, overwhelmed, tired, or confused. Sometimes it may be helpful to step back and try to identify the root of the problem and possibly find ways to resolve the issue together. Knowing that the person is not really upset with you may help to soften the blow a bit and may help you to better understand their actions.

(Warning: Do not attempt to rationalize with someone who is enraged or becoming violent. Remove yourself from the situation and allow the person to calm down.)

At the moment, anger is my biggest issue. Quite often, this is the case. I am starting to see it as a red flag. When it gets out of control, it means I am covering up other emotions. I am now at that point. I know what I am trying to cover up. Depression is starting to set in and this is how I fight it off. Eventually, it will consume me if I don’t deal with it.

Here are some things I have learned that help offset the anger:

-Find out the underlying causes of the anger. Are you really angry? Or are you cycling, or masking your other emotions?

-Talk it out. This can be difficult, as some people really just don't understand what having bipolar is like. Go to a support group. Talk to your therapist. Find a close friend who is willing to listen, but not judge.

-Do something relaxing. When I start to feel angry, I take a nap. I paint. I draw. I write. I watch a movie. I cook. I bake. Find something, or a list of somethings(:, that work for you. Distract yourself until you feel better about approaching and dealing with the situation.

-STAY AROUND PEOPLE. Your main instinct at this point is going to be to isolate. If you're not around anyone else, they can't get hurt, right? Wrong. When you're feeling like this, that's when people get hurt. That's when self-injury occurs. You need to be around people. Your family. Your friends. Call someone on the phone. Just don't isolate.

And, as always, I'm here for you.(: Email me (dancingthroughthepain@hotmail.com.) and we'll talk. You can get through this.(: I promise.

Side note: If you're a caretaker of someone with bipolar (parent, friend, etc.) and you have any suggestions for dealing with anger, please let me know. I've never had to deal with anyone with bipolar except myself.(: Thank you!!